THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. just waiting for us to believe

So, can someone tell me please, which of the following are 'true' and which aren't?

I soooo want to know what to believe.!

a.. Ostriches bury their heads in the sand
b.. Reiki can do no harm (but the endless discussion of this topic ON certain REIKI groups can actually bore you to death.)
c.. In 'Casablanca', Humphrey Bogart's character, Rick said: "Play it again Sam"
d.. Reiki can do no harm (but concentrating on trying to draw HSZSN on the roof of your mouth with your tongue [Tibetan Style] while driving in the fast lane might)
e.. Hayayo Takata invented Reiki as a New Age Multi-Level-Marketing scam
f.. A Chokurei is actually an Imperial Edict
g.. Elvis is alive and well and living in Scotland
h.. Karuna Reiki is really TeraMai Reiki (only different)
i.. TeraMai Reiki is really Patrick Ziegler's 'Seichim Reiki' (only different)
j.. Elvis is a level 2 Takata-Sensei Reiki student
k.. Reiki can do no harm (unless it is for your higher good, that is)
l.. Any squiggle drawn by a Reiki practitioner is a long-lost original Reiki symbol
m.. Every magical, spiritual, mystical symbol that ever existed is a long-lost original Reiki symbol
n.. Nero fiddled while Rome burned
o.. Traffic Signs are long-lost original Reiki symbols
p.. Reiki is actually pronounced Lay-Kee
q.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community
r.. The Gakkai teach Usui-Sensei's original Reiki system - nothing added, nothing taken away
s.. No one would ever make up stories about the origins of Reiki - just to support their own fanciful theories
t.. Usui-Sensei was a Christian Minister
u.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community
v.. Christopher Columbus discovered the American mainland
w.. Jesus was a Reiki Master
x.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community
y.. Reiki always automatically knows precisely where it's needed (yet we have to channel it to specific people and direct it with specific symbols to specific intent)
z.. Bill Gates is a Reiki Master
aa.. 14 Ascended Masters were arrested in a bar in Brooklyn after a dispute as to which one of them really invented Reiki
ab.. Usui-Sensei was a Tantric Buddhist (no, not THAT type of Tantra - the other, no-sex type: Shingon & Tendai Buddhism)
ac.. Original students of Usui-Sensei all live to be over 100 years old
ad.. Usui-Sensei was a Zen Monk
ae.. No one would ever make up stories about the origins of Reiki - just so they could write a book or five about it and live well on the royalties
af.. You should always send Reiki to people who ask you not to - after all you're a Reiki Practitioner and you know what's best for them
ag.. The Usui Memorial isn't a fake
ah.. Usui-Sensei played 'prop forward' in the New Zealand 'All Blacks' Rugby squad in 1908

So, I really would be most appreciative if someone could help me out here.
If you know which of the above are true, please write to me via 'snail-mail' and as a sign of your genuineness, please be sure to enclose a 50-Euro Banknote with your correspondence.
No timewasters please
James - 'Urban Myths & Legends' Reiki TM
----------------------------------------

> THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. just waiting for us to believe

Thank you Sculder, or Mulley?
>
> So, can someone tell me please, which of the following are 'true' and
which aren't?

Soitanly - pull up a chair.
>
> I soooo want to know what to believe.!

Believe me.......only me......your eyes are getting
heavy.......sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
>
> a.. Ostriches bury their heads in the sand

Not nowadays. Since being excommunicated by the Vatican cremation is
allowed.


> b.. Reiki can do no harm (but the endless discussion of this topic ON
certain REIKI groups can actually bore you to death.)

It is not the discussion per se. It is reading the discussion that is
dangerous. If you are unable to quit this potentially lethal occupation, it
is recommended that you join Cynics Anonymous. They don't have any 'steps'
Members scoffed so they were abandoned.


> c.. In 'Casablanca', Humphrey Bogart's character, Rick said: "Play it
again Sam"

He actually said 'Give it a rest Sam, I'm in the middle of discussion about
whether Reiki can do harm and I'm winning"



> d.. Reiki can do no harm (but concentrating on trying to draw HSZSN on
the roof of your mouth with your tongue [Tibetan Style] while driving in the
fast lane might)

Only if you insist on driving sober

> e.. Hayayo Takata invented Reiki as a New Age Multi-Level-Marketing scam

Yes. No. Yes. No. wait I'll ask Phyllis.

> f.. A Chokurei is actually an Imperial Edict

It's an Imperial Mint, but I can see how you might confuse them.


> g.. Elvis is alive and well and living in Scotland

Really! Oh I'm all shook up!

> h.. Karuna Reiki is really TeraMai Reiki (only different)

The difference is negligible. You'll only run into difficulties if you try
to fix them with regular cement, or
don't prepare the surface properly first.

> i.. TeraMai Reiki is really Patrick Ziegler's 'Seichim Reiki' (only
different)

Same as above - except only use these on bathroom surfaces.

> j.. Elvis is a level 2 Takata-Sensei Reiki student

F***! He told me he was a Reiki Mistress. So the attunement is no good?

> k.. Reiki can do no harm (unless it is for your higher good, that is)

It only hurts if sent by anyone who has researched the origins. Not the
reiki, the lecture
that accompanies it.

> l.. Any squiggle drawn by a Reiki practitioner is a long-lost original
Reiki symbol

Yes, unless it was Andy Warhol. In that case it is art.

> m.. Every magical, spiritual, mystical symbol that ever existed is a
long-lost original Reiki symbol

Almost all of them. The others are the result of that enough monkeys with
enough typewriters experiment
and the last one is the how to play the Lord of the Rings board game key.

> n.. Nero fiddled while Rome burned

No, this is a myth. He was on keyboards.

> o.. Traffic Signs are long-lost original Reiki symbols

Only the ones with a green man

> p.. Reiki is actually pronounced Lay-Kee

It is pronounced For-de-streemly-gull-I-bull ( as a pictogram
interpretations vary. this is the most commonly excepted by Conologists)

> q.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community

Not a lot. The Ego attunement is little used because of the cost. Inflated
Sense of Self is more common, as is Delusions of Adequacy and Maybe Someone
Will Take Me Seriously Now I Have These Pieces of Paper. (these cost much
less and can even be found free on the Internet)

> r.. The Gakkai teach Usui-Sensei's original Reiki system - nothing
added, nothing taken away

Gakkai is a corruption of MacKay - they teach Highland Dancing. Or did
until the warring about the original forms
ended in the death of the President Shuie. It was outlawed after that.


> s.. No one would ever make up stories about the origins of Reiki - just
to support their own fanciful theories

Not made up - channelled. Completely different thing.

> t.. Usui-Sensei was a Christian Minister

Only occasionally. Working in the Buddhist monasteries, travelling in
America, India, Las Vegas and practicing Chi Gong, Qi Gung, Ki Ko, Leg-go
and unravelling the mysteries of the Rubiks cube left him very little to
time practise all of his faiths. Legend has it that he always made time for
the Dave Letterman show whatever he was doing. I think that this
demonstrates how human he really was.

> u.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community

All right! Maybe a little bit. You don't give up do you?

> v.. Christopher Columbus discovered the American mainland

The americans already knew it was there. So, no.

> w.. Jesus was a Reiki Master

Mistress, please.

> x.. There is no egotism in the Reiki Community

What is this an interrogation? All RIGHT! There is some, you'd have to
look closely to find it.

> y.. Reiki always automatically knows precisely where it's needed (yet we
have to channel it to specific people and direct it with specific symbols to
specific intent)

Yes, yes and yes, conundrum isn't it?

> z.. Bill Gates is a Reiki Master

Shaky Bastard, clean you earholes.

aa.. 14 Ascended Masters were arrested in a bar in Brooklyn after a
dispute as to which one of them really invented Reiki

Only 2 of them had actually ascended, and only because they were being
bounced off the bar stools by the other 12.
This kind of behaviour only brings bars into disrepute.

> ab.. Usui-Sensei was a Tantric Buddhist (no, not THAT type of Tantra -
the other, no-sex type: Shingon & Tendai Buddhism)

Tantrum Buddhist. Lost it completely sometimes.

> ac.. Original students of Usui-Sensei all live to be over 100 years old

No they just look as if they did. It's the constant interogation from weedy
white guys
who keep asking the same questions over and over again. Most of them are
only in their thirties.
Even all the 104yr old nuns.
Usui is alive and well and living in Scotland, but keep that to yourself.

> ad.. Usui-Sensei was a Zen Monk

A Venn Monk..... kept going round in circles.

> ae.. No one would ever make up stories about the origins of Reiki - just
so they could write a book or five about it and live well on the royalties

No, channelled I told you.

> af.. You should always send Reiki to people who ask you not to - after
all you're a Reiki Practitioner and you know what's best for them

That's one of the drawbacks. People keep sending Reiki and healing millions
of people who would have preferred to remain sick. That is why all these
newspaper and television shows keep on about the strange and wondrous
inexplicable mass healings that keep occurring. Records show now that at
least 1 billion people that should have died are still alive. thanks to
interference by newly attuned reiki enthusiasts (has to be at least 14
different versions of Reiki and strong will to ignore personal feelings)
This has to stop. Funeral homes everywhere are feeling the pinch. Not to
mention all the hyponchondriacs who are up in arms about the sneak removal
of their imaginary illnesses.

> ag.. The Usui Memorial isn't a fake

Definitely not. I saw it in the live coverage of the moon landing newsreels
shortly before it was moved to the
gravesite.

> ah.. Usui-Sensei played 'prop forward' in the New Zealand 'All Blacks'
Rugby squad in 1908

Now you are just trying to be funny. You can't do the hakka in a kimono.
>
> So, I really would be most appreciative if someone could help me out here.

Out where? Are you incarcerated somewhere? If you've been in cellars again
looking for Usui Scrolls and got yourself locked in, it's karma. You'll
just have to stay there until you learn to respect anyone who has ever been
to Japan on a package holiday and spoken to a real Japanese person, about
anything at all, then published the conversation. . Serves you right.If you know which of the above are true, please write to me via
'snail-mail' and as a sign of your genuineness, please be sure to enclose a
50-Euro Banknote with your correspondence.

For your own air fare to Tokyo I suppose. Nuthin' doin'
you ask too many questions anyway. Why don't you just listen to those who
understand the Japanese mindset because they've been there once , and are
sure of what did happen behind closed doors without evidence or witnesses,
as they are always reminding us: As the most likely scenario would have
been a choice between all of the endless possibilities, it must have been
one of them, my book's bigger than his, ergo, my theory must be correct
surely. Game, set, and rematch. . Isn't the concrete evidence they have so
plausibly provided not good enough?

Ise Wyde Shutt
--------------------------------------------------
Dear Ann,

I think our shared facial hair problem allows me to call you by your
first name without formal introduction?

I have examined in great detail your diabolic photgraphic
representations and am aware of your hidden agenda. What purpose does
the My Reiki with nothing in it serve? No claptrap, no cover ups, no
frauds, no guff, nothing shrouded in mystery, no-thing at all, not
even a thinly veiled hint at anything secret or eltist. If you are
trying to make out that a omnipotent creator could come up with any
kind of natural product is in any way superior to the beautifully
contrived blends that are now available to anyone who knows how to
use an email programme, I fear for the future of Reiki Marketing. I
hear cottage industries collapse even as I write.

You seem to be hellbent on promoting the erroneous assumption that
Reiki is a free energy that is pure in it's essence! Fie Madam!!
There can be bnothing further from the truth (Nothing further from
the truth, pub. Collins, author Me .99) Witness the wonderful
timefilling carnage amongst the warring factions - would you have
this stopped! Gadzooks - what would happen then? All of these
people would have absolutely nothing else to do and would be forced
to get lives. Are you going to supply them? No I think not. Think
of the strain on the already stretched medical profession. Think of
the damage to the economy if all of these folks are forced to work?
In short Madam, think of someone else instead of yourself for a
change. And order my book immediately. Your outlook must be changed
immediately. Reiki will be sent undercover too, you won't recognise
this as it is a new brand and cannot be stopped. (Unrecogniseable
Reiki - or ART Usui/Tibetan tm..... bet that'll skeer ya!) If the
psycho surgery don't git ya good- the spirit guides'll finish the job)
And you can tell that Light fellow that hangs around your shack - he
doesn't scare us. Rock'n'Roll indeed. Rum Baba Reiki in a different
coloured manual. You'll be hearing from Skarueem,Smashem,Shutemup
and Fast (solicitors and really BIG Reiki Masters) first post.

You have been warned,
The Hon. I. Amm Loded
Finance and Marketing Director,
Reiki Product Distribution and Sacred Tour Department,
Millionaires Row,
FreeandKlear
The Bahamas